Battle #1

At 9:35 am CT this morning our oldest son, Owen, was diagnosed with Aspergers.  This wasn't a surprise really, we have known for a while that something was up.  He was diagnosed as PDD NOS when he was 2 years old, but we were told that he barely met the criteria for the diagnosis and would likely grow out of it by the time he was in kindergarten. 

He didn't grow out of it. 

So I am going to do what any normal person does these days. 

I'm gonna blog about it. 

The title of this blog is "Choose Your Battles" because that is what I need to start doing.  I fight a lot of battles.  Most of them are silly things that don't matter one ounce.  This takes energy away from me, energy I need to fight for my son. 

That is Battle #1. 

Why spend the energy on this forum you wonder?  Because I need a way to talk about this, I need to get thoughts and feelings out.  I don't care if anyone reads this, it will be personal diary for me and my family.  Maybe I can help someone along the way, someone who feels alone in their battle with autism/aspergers but will read about our life and know they are not alone. 

Today has been a long day so I am leaving the details of the diagnosis and the testing for another time.  I am not sure if I am in denial but I don't feel sad right now.  I just feel tired, like I need to sleep as much as I can to get ready for this marathon.  I do not want sympathy, that will make me want to punch you in the throat.  I want awareness of this disease and how it affects families behind closed doors.   

Tomorrow, I choose not to battle soccer.  Owen doesn't do well with soccer, or any organized sport for that matter, and I get so anxious when I see how he acts...or doesn't act...on the field.  I feel like everyone is wondering why the tallest, almost oldest kid is just running around in circles.  Maybe they are thinking just that.  I need to get over it.  Cause I can't control what other people think about my son and I choose not to fight that battle, tomorrow. 

For now, I am going to use this diagnosis as an excuse to drink a bottle of wine, by myself...which will lead to battle 1.1, the hangover.